To Bologna or to Baloney? That is the thing there. Whether ’tis nobler on the palate to swagger…

At first, the merger of Kraft Foods Group and H.J. Heinz Co. was seen as a marriage made in Fried Baloney Heaven, as tomato ketchup counts as a vegetable serving, or something. But, although Iowa will be getting a shiny new lunch meat makey place in a couple years somewheres near the Davenport plant it’ll be replacing, the Wienermobile will be driving 700 real jobs and 300 corporate jobs out of Madison, also in 2017.

Oscar Mayer giveth and Oscar Mayer taketh away… about a half hour’s pay for a 12-oz. pack of sodium-soaked Beef Summer Sausage.

balogna1Er, bologna.

Do you like a little bologna with your sauteed onions?.. Okay, caramelized onions, if you must... What, you ask if the onion rings are redundant? Don't be ridiculous.
Do you like a little bologna with your sauteed onions?.. Okay, caramelized onions, if you must… What, you ask if the onion rings are redundant? Don’t be ridiculous.
Know why it's blurry? Cuz it's fast food.
Know why it’s blurry? Cuz it’s fast food.
A charitable connoisseur may give you a pass on the french fries, but switching out the bologna for ham loaf is heresy.
A charitable connoisseur may give you a pass on the french fries, but switching out the bologna for ham loaf is heresy.
Presenting this ghastly dish to a dining customer may be a felony in some jurisdictions. Of the three offending items, the unidentifiable one at upper left may have been an egg product of some sort at one time or another.
Presenting this ghastly dish to a dining customer may be a felony in some jurisdictions. Of the three offending items, the unidentifiable one at upper left may have been an egg product of some sort at one time or another.

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