Woop rouch Rodgers

snowglobestarr-dickey

@Packers
McCarthy: “No concern” about whether Aaron Rodgers (shoulder) will be ready on Sunday. No concern that he’s the prettiest pure passing Packer since Dickey but lately can’t hit the ocean from a carrier… Woop rouch, we’re over 140 characters, Alphonso Carreker.

Woop rouch Roundy’s

 chairman bob2
In a deal expected to be wrapped up by year’s end (central standard time) grocing behemoth Kroger Co. is shelling out $178 million in cash and $14 in coupons to buy Pick ‘n Pay parent Roundy’s, lock, stock, and Chairman Bob and his wells of red ink ($646m), as Roundy’s is getting killed in one of the most competitive markets in the country (southeast WI). Although Roundy’s leads there in market share by a bunch, that lead is slipping and they lost $8.6m in Q3, er, the 3rd quarter, Mortimer.
 kroger

Kroger’s top suit declared, “We’re big and flush, as far as you know, so we’re going to invest aggressively in those stores, i.e., slash prices by applying our robust purchasing power, or something.”

Chairman Bob agrees.

“This gives us the opportunity to reassert our position in Wisconsin,” he said.

(What do you mean, ‘us,’ new Kroger employee?)

Kroger top suit also revealed, “But we really lust after that 39 percent market share, and call us slaphappy but we actually see growth opportunity there, so we have no plans to close stores, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.”

Some consultant guy in Waukesha said, “There’s no way Kroger is going to continue to operate low-volume, redundant stores. They don’t do that anywhere.”

That notion was echoed by at least one competitor.

“Kroger is a formidable competitor,” said Pat Fox, owner of the Fox Brothers chain of der Piggles der Viggles supermarkets in southern W. Konsin. “They are very good at what they do.”

That said, even a perfect grocery retailer would be challenged in the region’s market as it now stands, Fox said.

“They still face the same challenges we all face,” he said. “We’re in an over-stored market. You have way too much retail square footage chasing way too few retail dollars.”

But Kroger is not to be bothered with those details on its way to world, er, national dominance. When they bought King Soopers, a store manager said that Kroger “bought us just to correct the spelling.”

The acquisition of Roundy’s ups Kroger’s imperial tally to 2774 grocery stores in 35 states and 38 food processing plants making private label stuff, not to mention their 327 jewelry stores (Fred Meyer, Littman). Don’t mention it.

Kroger also has 781 convenience stores in 19 states under various banners such as Stop-N-Scarf, Stop-N-Slurp, Stop-N-Crawl Stop-N-Crullers-N-Coffee, Kum & Goes Around & Kums Around, Stop ‘n Go Forth ‘n Multitask, Stop ‘n Get Gas ‘n Fuel Up Too, and Stop-N-Scratch Your, Uh, Scratch Tickets.

To Bologna or to Baloney? That is the thing there. Whether ’tis nobler on the palate to swagger…

At first, the merger of Kraft Foods Group and H.J. Heinz Co. was seen as a marriage made in Fried Baloney Heaven, as tomato ketchup counts as a vegetable serving, or something. But, although Iowa will be getting a shiny new lunch meat makey place in a couple years somewheres near the Davenport plant it’ll be replacing, the Wienermobile will be driving 700 real jobs and 300 corporate jobs out of Madison, also in 2017.

Oscar Mayer giveth and Oscar Mayer taketh away… about a half hour’s pay for a 12-oz. pack of sodium-soaked Beef Summer Sausage.

balogna1Er, bologna.

Do you like a little bologna with your sauteed onions?.. Okay, caramelized onions, if you must... What, you ask if the onion rings are redundant? Don't be ridiculous.
Do you like a little bologna with your sauteed onions?.. Okay, caramelized onions, if you must… What, you ask if the onion rings are redundant? Don’t be ridiculous.
Know why it's blurry? Cuz it's fast food.
Know why it’s blurry? Cuz it’s fast food.
A charitable connoisseur may give you a pass on the french fries, but switching out the bologna for ham loaf is heresy.
A charitable connoisseur may give you a pass on the french fries, but switching out the bologna for ham loaf is heresy.
Presenting this ghastly dish to a dining customer may be a felony in some jurisdictions. Of the three offending items, the unidentifiable one at upper left may have been an egg product of some sort at one time or another.
Presenting this ghastly dish to a dining customer may be a felony in some jurisdictions. Of the three offending items, the unidentifiable one at upper left may have been an egg product of some sort at one time or another.